Ever since I can remember I've always wanted to be a teenager. Like forever. When I was little I liked being a kid but it just wasn't cutting it. And other kids wanted to be like mommy and daddy but I wanted to be a teen, I was born for it. I was born to mope around and be existential and talk about how much of a babe so and so is and how lame my English teacher is. I was born to hang out with friends and mix terrible drinks that get you too drunk too fast and make mistakes and run a muck. I was born to sneak out and go wild and party hard. I was made to have heart break that I thought would never heal and love that would never end.
The thing is...none of that stuff happened. I had spent so long dreaming about being Cher Horowits and Clarissa Darling that I completely didn't notice when it hit me that I was already there. I wished to be Angela Chase but 15 has been gone for 2 years now and I realized that my dream was slipping away.
Pictured: What my life should be. found multiple time on tumblr thus original source has been sort of lost sorry
The more I dwelled on the fact that I was never going to have my 1979 moment the more I started to hate myself. Like my life mission had failed. After all the tales my mom had told me of her and her wild friends, after my dad's adventure stories of skateboarding all the way to the beach from Anaheim, and my Aunt always being attached to the phone, of my cousin getting mixed cd's from guys who wanted to win her heart, I had nothing but a few meager sneak outs and one disaster date with someone I didn't even like.
And so I relish in the few precious months I have of high school and Tuesday night I got my 1979 moment.
Here in Southern California we have a little place called Knott's Berry Farm, a once farm turned theme park that has a 40 year strong tradition of throwing a pretty rad Halloween celebration called Halloween Haunt. Even though I hate being scared due to hating vulnerability I still went, because "relish in the high school moments" is what I have to live by.
Even though it was a Tuesday, the Tuesday before Halloween night no less, we all went and were out till 2 am and it was a blast. I screamed, I laughed, I wore my friends like blankets of protection against the weirdos who work there. And when it came time for the majority of our group to go into a maze they had just released called Trapped, me and Evie were left waiting in an arcade (theme song of which was DAYTONAAAAAAAAAA).
And in that wonderful arcade I had my slushie moment.
first we took photo booth pictures! super rad
our freak out is warranted, she never wins anything
And of course due to our big wins we got a ton of cool prizes which some might call junk and I might call the best things ever.
We got turtles, dinosaurs and rings, plus we all got 3D glasses for them wacky mazes.
I was just super happy even though I was sick, and I hadn't slept a full nights sleep in over a week and I had to go to school the next day. But I really felt fulfilled. If that wasn't enough at the end of the night, whether it was to shut me up or because they actually care about me, my friends all pitched in for a few rounds of whack-a-mole to try and win a big ass Bart Simpson plushie. We didn't win but it was still a nice gesture.
So yeah that's my story, I've pretty much ridden out this week on the high of that feeling, I hope it lasts. I leave you with Smashing Pumpkins.